Swiday

Today is December 22nd. Every 5 minutes or so I rotate from thinking from "omg it's only the 22nd?!" to "omg it's the 22nd already!".

How is it possible to feel as if there is not enough time in the day to accomplish everything that must be accomplished, but at the same time feel as if time is not moving at all?
It's really quite enthralling.

I can just hardly wait for "Swiday" as Luke refers to it.
(It really means Friday. He thinks we are going to Jake's House every time we get in the car so I started telling him we were going on Friday. Obvs that doesn't mean a lot to the 2-year-old who really has no concept of time passing, but still. It's eased my lack of patience from him asking me everysingleminute when we are going to Jake's House.)

(which btw - another "Luke's Translations" post is coming soon. I've been keeping a list of the funny things he says...it's getting long, just a warning. But really you should be excited.)

Filmography

This is pretty clever. I like it.

Creations

I stole this lovely wreath idea from here.

It looks stellar in person.
Ya'll should stop by and see it.


And don't you just love the disaster creations that are supposed to be cute gingerbread lollipops?
(damn blogger keeps flipping this upside down. i'm super pissed about this. so I guess just deal with it.)
(oh and i promise our table isn't purple as it appears to be in this picture.)
The box made it look so easy to create cute little cookies. I should've known.

Addition

In conjunction with my previous superficial gratitude post, I just HAVE to link you all to this.

I almost peed my pants I was laughing so hard.


Please, if you don't already - you MUST read Rants from Mommy Land. Consistently. It absolutely cracks me up.


Begin Quoting:

If you’re anything like us, your house is full of kid gear, most of it useless. Why is there all this crap? Is any of it actually making our jobs as mothers any easier or is it just creating more work and opportunities for child deviance? Right now, GL's daughter is cackling as she shoves broken crayons into an unused diaper genie and Happy is unfolding the laundry, piece by piece.

We present to you five useful inventions designed for the modern mom:

1. Baby Roomba. You know when your baby goes from an adorable blob of goo who stays put on a soft baby blanket to one that *magically* rolls under the couch? That's the same moment that you need to. put. them. to. work. Start by dressing the baby in a head-to-toe outfit made entirely of Swiffer material. Then let 'em loose. They will invariably travel away from their colorful, developmentally appropriate toys on the vacuumed rug to do full-body explorations of the dirtiest, dingiest corners of the house…so why not make them gather dust bunnies while they’re at it? Even better, make a second outfit entirely out of Velcro, and adhere squares of the opposite Velcro to your other kids' toys. Ta-daa! Clean playroom. You're welcome.

2. Dora Child Bidet. Do we even need to explain this one? We are tired of wiping. We are tired of touching poo. And we are tired of Dora. Let’s combine two of the evils of motherhood and create a themed line of child-sized bidets! This is really a win/win invention because your child can clean himself with no help from you AND Dora can actually be of use. Oh, and there should be a bidet of that damn monkey, too.

3. Fun Bags. Breastfeeding is SO MUCH FUN that this invention allows Dad to share the physical pleasure of nursing a hungry infant. Brought to you by the company who makes CamelBaks, Fun Bags are bladders of milk that hang off of your husband’s chest like two heavy, rock-hard saddle bags full of liquid goodness. For added authenticity, the bags come with an electrode device that hooks up to Dad’s man parts. Each time the baby latches-on, Dad can get a nice ‘shock’ right in the junk. Possible downside? You may occasionally catch your husband absentmindedly feeling *himself* up. [Editor's Note: I tried to find a picture of this, but it was all porn-y. I think my computer now has an STD. Gross. -Kate]

4. All-in-One Drive-Thru. If we have to spend one more morning stopping at six different establishments to accomplish errands with all the children in tow, we're going to lose our collective schmidt. Seriously, how many times can you force kids back into their car seats before they either decide to be flag-pole stiff or play jelly-baby and go totally limp on you? And once they’re in the stores they are off-their-rockers whack. Which makes other people give you the stink eye. Which really just pisses us off and makes us feel the need to explain. But it's really hard to go, "Suck It. But it's really that he's just tired." What we need is an all-in-one stop for errands. Please, will someone open a drive-thru bank/dry cleaner/pharmacy/Target/Starbucks/liquor store? Because there's no way even Hulk Hogan couldn't wrestle those kids into their carseats one more time...and if you can get clever enough to clean my teeth, give me a pap smear and vaccinate the dog, even yesser.

5. Angry Mom Channel: We're tired of being the villain. The heavy. The keeper of the rules and the doler-outer of punishments. Let someone else do it. An electronic someone else. And since the children only know how to really pay attention to the television, may we suggest discipline come directly from there. Are the kids punching each other? Suddenly a face comes on TV that says "One. [pause] TWOOOOO..." Chances are, they'll cut it out. Angry Mom Channel will also come equipped with "Don't make me come down there" and "Wait until your father gets home" and "Will you cut it out for the love of Maude!" settings. And, as a final resort to bad behavior, the ultimate punishment: "That's IT! I've had enough. Go to bed!" and automatically shuts the TV off.

We're pretty sure that, given these contraptions, we'd all be better moms, healthier, saner and possibly better looking. Well, at a minimum, our boobs would be somewhere closer to our necks rather than our knees.

Stupid gravity.

The Gratitude Train

So I'm a little late hopping on the gratitude train, but I'm cool with that.

Here are some things I have been grateful for lately:

1. Artificial Pre-Lit Christmas trees. It took me a whole 5 minutes to set our tree up (by myself) this year. (and I don't say "by myself" as a snide comment to those who did not help, I simply say it to emphasize the speed in which I was able to set it up.)

2. Doorknob Covers. Luke is unable to escape his room without assistance, nor is he able to enter Amber's room, any closets or the pantry without assistance. Now if only the pesky chairs weren't so easy for him to move to the counter - then maybe our knives wouldn't have to be on top of the fridge. I can barely even reach them now.

3. The Gift of Tongues. I am able to understand Luke's language with very little confusion...most of the time. Some examples: fungers = fingers and piserman=spiderman. I am still sad that he calls a shower a shower. It used to be sha sha. I preferred that.

4. Plastic Basketball Hoops and Mickey Mouse. Luke could be entertained all day if I let him only watch Mickey while the hoop is in the front room.

5. Whey Protein Shakes. If we ignore the fact that they make Luke exceptionally 'regular', it sure is nice to know he's getting some nutrition at least once a day. (If you read this Caroline - thanks for the advice!)

Toothpaste

This is funny.
Because it's real.

Milk Duds

I have a new found love and appreciation for
these little gems.



I am such a fan of caramel. I don't know if I always have been,
or if it's one of the things that moved to my "list of foods i love"
rather than being on the "list of foods to avoid"...along with onions and
tomatoes - good tomatoes, not those gross slimy ones. (Am I the only person
whose taste buds permanently changed after having a child? Because I
am not even exaggerating when I say the legitimately changed. Maybe they'll
change back after I have another child? That sure would be weird, wouldn't it?)

Either way, I love them.

I love them more than Rolos too, (sorry to disappoint Mom) due to the
fact that they are chewier and the chocolate to caramel ratio is
much more fitting.

celebrations

Here are some cute pictures of Luke's 2nd Birthday
(yes really...second. It's been two years already)

The Guests...


McCall is super excited. Libby is not so much...


Luke and his bff Paxton.


Ashlee will probably want to kill me for this super-preg shot.
(happy to announce the delivery of cutest Aiden too!)


Lukey and Auntie Megan.
He loves her.
And the whoopee cushion she got him too.


On to the decor...


I started this tradition last year where I hang a picture for each month of his life. The picture you can see the clearest was at his 1st birthday. I almost didn't realize how different he looks now.

I love this bandanna banner.


And the food...

Cowboy Luke

Please indulge me again as we observe this delightful character.

I think the two above are my favorites. Maybe.

I don't know though, this fence shot is pretty cute.

'nough said.

funny friday

sorry for the two video clips in a row. this is in honor of this sacred weekend.

Movie Trailers - Movies Blog

Umbrella

(Don't worry Mom [and anyone else in the world who cares] I will post more
pictures of Luke in the cutest cowboy getup ever,
and 2nd birthday details soon!)

In the interim, enjoy this:

You might die.

Seriously, I have nothing else to say about these pictures.
You just might die.
Be prepared.

nud

preview

I just can't handle keeping this to myself any more.
And don't you fret, there are more #2 birthday pics to come.
I had guilt stealing this picture from Janica LaRae, so I'm patiently waiting for my disc and copyright permission.
Seriously peeps, she has some legit photog skills. Hit her up for your next partay!

Life Lessons

So...

I'm basically famous.

There is a book recently released that is titled Life Lessons from Fathers of Faith. It includes great stories of famous fathers throughout our lives - including Spencer W. Kimball, Thomas S. Monson, Mitt Romney, Steven Covey and Waldo Christensen.

Who is Waldo Christensen you ask?
Oh, that's right. He is my Great-Grandfather. My dad's Grandpa. On Page 155 to be exact.

His life story is one of great interest and great conversion to the LDS faith. One of love,
and acceptance - living in Los Angeles in the 1960's and having a
water heater shop on what was then known as "Charcoal Alley".
He was one of very few people to employ and do business with
African Americans in LA at the time. During the Watts Riots all the shops
around him were burned to the ground in fits of rage.
His shop was left entirely untouched; not even a cracked window.

Read more about this great book HERE and purchase it HERE!

Anyway, it's an awesome Coffee Table book....and not just because it makes me famous.

Funny Friday #2

Do Funny Fridays have less impact when they are the only posts of the week?
Quite possibly.

This one I can't even watch with out laughing out loud.

Funny Friday

Maybe it would be cool if I was a regular poster (postee?) with "funny friday" anecdotes.
Either way, this is a funny movie.
Maybe "funny" isn't the right word. Because you probably won't like LOL or ROFL, however you will most likely chuckle.
That's a better word.

On the same note, the word "movie" isn't really the proper word either.
Maybe a "clip". No, not "clip" because that makes it sound like a segment of something. How about a "short". I think that's what it is. A "short"
That's a better word.

Here is a chuckle-inducing short.

(and sorry it's too big for the screen. I can't seem to make it cooperate. lame)

Pumpkins

So, for those of you who know me, know that I do not love Halloween. I do not particularly understand the point of Trick or Treating. I do not love Halloween decor.

As is the case with many things, having Lucas around has changed my view on things.
I was feeling awfully ba-humbug about Halloween and decided that should change, for Luke's sake.

So, I went and bought pumpkins (!).
And I must say, I love them.
Love.

Here's the before:

And here's the after:

Thanks to some metallic spray paint I was able to create (mostly) mess-free pumpkins that aren't going to rot and smell before Halloween even comes around!

There you have it, I have succumbed to the season. Dang.

(Taking Luke Trick or Treating this year is still up for debate.)

Friends

You know that episode of Friends when Monica is sick and trying to convince Chandler that she isn't?

And Chandler says
"you aren't FINE if you end FINE with a D!"
(or something along those lines - megan and nic, don't kill for improperly quoting!)

Well, that is what Luke sounds like these days.
The poor kid has the stuffiest and runniest nose and was asking me yesterday
"where's ab? where's ab? i dot doh"
instead of
"where's Am? where's Am? I not know"

Poor kid.
I shouldn't mock.


Or admit that I asked him questions with answers like "i dot doh" just to hear his cute raspy voice answer without any m's and n's.

The Sarge

Today is a very sad day.
Our dear Sgt. Maxwell was laid to rest after 10 loyal years as the World's Best Dog.
Seriously, he is the only dog I've really ever loved. And for an extended period of time. I never saw him as smelly and dirty (as I feel towards most animals in general - especially house pets. ew. I digress....)

Max thought he was a person; he sat on his behind on the old green chair we used to have and slept on Jared's bed almost from day 1. And by bed I mean pillow.
He learned how to spell "g-o" "c-a-r" and "w-a-l-k" - also know as just a "w".

He loved carrots and ice cubes. He had one brown eye and one blue eye.
Strangers always thought he was blind in his blue eye. I always thought that was a weird assumption.

He waited up for me on the wild party nights of high school, along with Amber's wild nights and Jared's wild nights and Jake's wild nights (as if there were any of those).

He waited at the front window watching for the school bus to bring Jared and Jake and all the neighborhood boys home from elementary school.
Simply hoping he could play "pickle" with them in the front yard.

He loved to lay on the floor in the sunlight shining in through the back door. He loved laying on the vent - no matter what temperature it was - to cool off or warm up. He especially loved laying on the vent with a blanket over him in the winter. (I told you, he thought he was a human).

He loved us all unconditionally for the last 10 years.
He will be greatly missed.

Here's to you Max, here's to you.

Dickinson

(this is the face you get when holding a camera and he says CHEEEEESE!)

Charles M. Dickinson once said:

They are idols of hearts and of household!
They are angels of God in disguise;
The sunlight still sleeps in their tresses,
His glory still gleams in their eyes;
These truants from home and from Heaven,
They have made me more gentle and mild;
And I know now how Jesus could liken
The kingdom of God to a child.


I read this today and it reverberated in my soul. It caught me at a quiet moment, as I sat here enjoying the peace while Luke is asleep.

I often revel in nap time, find myself wishing it would last longer, thinking that I love him most when he is asleep. (He's just so peaceful and sweet...)

It made me realize how lucky I am to be his mother, to be the person he will look up to and (hopefully) cherish all of his life.
"I know now how Jesus could liken the kingdom of God to a child..."

repeat

Ok - I know, two music videos in a row. wtf? whatevski. I love this one so much that I couldn't resist!



Check out this great MSN Video: 'Miracles' musical mash-up

I have always loved both of these gorgeous fellas.
Please enjoy.

sister stole my idea.

Rather than duplicate blogging...all I'm going to say is read THIS.

and EW in advance.

I saw a foot-long snake by our front door this morning. That will be creepier once you read the other post.


Ew.

fight or flight

Ever have those weeks where everything inside you is telling you to run for the hills? No? Just me? oh, bummer. This is one of those weeks.

Let me just explain a little bit of what happens in September that makes me want to flee:

1. School starts. I am not a student, however Cory & Amber are. Between the three of us we have to somehow coordinate three full time jobs, two full time students (school in orem & school in salt lake) a two year old, and everything else life has to offer.

2. Basketball season begins. For most people, this simply means college ball games and little league fun. For me, it means chaos. You see, I work at a basketball facility. And by "work" I mean "run". (with the help of a few others, obvs.)

3. Coldness. Ugh. No more pool parties, no more playing outside while basking in the sunlight, no more warm evening walks.

Now that I type it all out, it seems like not much. That's discouraging because I feel totally overwhelmed.

On a lighter note - the best part of September is that it's a new season for all my fave tv shows. I won't even start to list how many shows I am excited for. Or try to explain how excited I really am. Let's just say I feel like a hole in my life has been filled again.

peace

Some days
("most days" seems to be more accurate)
listening to these artists is basically the only thing keeping
my head on straight.

Thanks Pandora for letting me combine the two of them into pure bliss.
(or sanity. whatever you want to call it.)